Monday, March 30, 2015

Tired and trust

Two scribbles I found in a notebook from my purse.  Looks like from last year.

* * *

I'm tired of putting on
   this necessary shield
(Even though I wanted to
   fight battles
and knew I'd have to, all along)
Why does it feel wrong?
Every word I say
   betrays the right thoughts
   in my head
as something pathetic and strange
The years are young
I still don't bend, or change.


I have one week to
reset my head to where my
heart is.  I still think in
terms of variables  possibilities
 extreme cases of inherit-
ance and parenthood.
Nobody knows what I'm
talking about.  Logic has
to be universal, doesn't it?
My logic  what is it?
I make up almost everything.
But Easter is coming  
Lent is the hardest time of
year. I fall and give up things and
can't get myself up
that is what it's for.
I know He has a reason for the
way I am  now, right now,
trust is as important as it will be
later. I fit into the Plan somehow
 it will work out.

MH // spring 2014